July 24, 2003   

          HEAR YE  HEAR YE!!! The Westwood Village Rotary Club’s Windmill is outta control. Y.O.E. ERNEST WOLF is in Riverside basking in 110º sunshine. Heat so hot it would melt an ice cream cone in less than 5 seconds. We’re talking hot! AFRICA HOT! But never fear! Wild Bill Elliott is at the helm, tiller wheel, pen, keyboard…. you get the picture.

          O.K. now for the bones of the Windmill-

1.     Pledge- Toney Deryan

2.     Song- Lenny “DIAMONDS” Friedman & James “HOT ROD” Downie

3.     Invocation-  Sally “XKE” Brant (Insert)

4.     Visiting Rotarians- George “P.P.” Dea.

5.     Daily Fare- Mr. Chicken, Charley Tuna, Freddy Fruit

O. K. now for the obligatory announcements-

1.     Peter More will pay $25.00 to the club for every $75.00 your spend on The Rotary credit card. He said it. I believed it. You gotta do it.  For every Dollar you spend, Peter will donate $1,000,000 to the “Save The Manatee” foundation in honor of the W.V.R.C. For every $1,000.00 Dollars you spend, Shirley and Peter will donate a 1st class round trip to Paris to the spender. This applies only to the fist 50 Rotarians who participate. Thanks Peter & Shirley (P. S. I was sitting in the back and due to tinitus and lousy acoustics; this is what Steve Day told me Peter said. Eric Loberg confirmed this as true. I thank them for their help.)

2.     UCLA chancellor Albert Carnesale speaks 7/29 at LAX Marriott Dist. Breakfast 7:15 a.m.

3.     Ralph Smith- Community service meeting 11:30 a.m. next week.

4.     Sean McMillian and Bob Thom matched $25k donations for a grand total of $51,500. to UCLA Dept. OF Neurology. Dr. Jim Wascheck and Dr.Timothy Cloughesy associate professor of Neuro-Oncology at UCLA (Go Bruins!) happily accepted the  total  raised by Sean for brain tumor research. I am very impressed with Sean and Bob’s generosity. Way to go! P. S. Peter- Don’t ever fine these fine gentlemen.

5.     “MORE SPAM” Stories outlawed at WVRC Meeting as/of 7/25/03. Fines will be $100+. Ham Stories, Headcheese Stories, and the Ingredients for Sausage will be allowed.  I’ve been told that The Marshall Islanders like spam so much, Hormel is the most common boy’s name there.  The most common girl’s name is Cinderella.

And now- Without further ado- (What’s  ADO?)  I present for your reading pleasure the “Spam and Potatoes” of the weekly soiree!

Sally Brant took off 2 weeks ago to spend time with “The” Ronald Reagan. She also hung out with some 6000 sailors. What a gal! But let me explain before she sues the W.V.R.C for slander, defamation, and character assassination, not to mention asset allocation.  She went to visit The Ronald Reagan not “The” Ronald Reagan. She (not he) is the largest aircraft carrier in our (the U.S. of A.) fleet (Navy not Enema).

Besides 6,000 sailors (The ones she hung out with) it has LOTSA stuff!

Nuclear power, LOTSA jet fuel, a buncha (tons & tons & tons) metal and wire and glass and plastic and tons of potatoes and cans of spam and plastic bags and dirty laundry. Whew! That’s alotta stuff!  And man is it big!  Really big, like bigger than big. Huge, taller than a really tall building. Big, humongous propellers that make it go fast. Not rocket fast but really fast for something that is so, so giant. It’s not a fast as a cheetah, but a cheetah can’t go 30 knots in the water. Of course,The Ronald Reagan can’t run 60 MPH on land either so who is really faster? We will discuss this at tabletalk later.

She (the ship, not Sally) has LOTSA rockets, bombs, bullets, laser sabers, machine guns and other stuff to keep it out of trouble. It’s good to know that we can blow the tar outta some jerk dictator if the (or she) tries to mess with us (The U. S. of A., not  W.V.R.C.)

Did you know she (the ship, not Sally) can run for 40 years without refueling. Moses wandered in the desert for 40 years but I bet you he had to refuel a lot during those times.

And now for the grand finale- The Piece d’resistance, the center ring, the main event- Ladies and Gentlemen- The Chris Bradford Craft Talk.

Bio Details:

1.     Born 12/02/54 in L. A.

2.     Married 24 years to Sharon, his wife.

3.     Their child has 4 legs and looks like a German Shepard.(He said it. I only report it)

4.     Went to University High

5.     Then went to UCLA (Go Bruins!)

6.     1975- Became a TWA attendant. “Enjoyed” the 70’s. I mean really enjoyed the 70’s. Except he froze his butt off in Chicago. Serves him right for having so much fun in the 70’s while most of us were in Africa helping to cure starvation and disease.  He did take a leave of absence to complete his degree at UCLA. UCLA during the 70’s! I bet he had way too much fun then also while the rest of us were in Appalachia feeding the hungry and teaching them to read.

7.     In 1979 he met and married Sharon in Kansas City. Probably had too much fun then too until he met Sharon. Oh Well! You gotta settle down sometime and the 70’s were over.

‘81-‘85- Loyola(Chicago) MBA- Probably not fun, important              though.

‘85- Back to LA for law degree at Southwestern School of Law. Met and clerked for THE LYSTER MEISTER(P.P.).

‘87- Met Steve Scherer-and it was magic. He does alotta stuff- like shooting, golf, photography, hiking, travel, estate, planning, taxes, business transactions, eats spam. He does not hunt, fish, chew tobaccy, or sit on a porch and drink Ted’s XXXX moonshine, like past Pres. Ted does.  He is also involved with UCLA Alumni Association, UCLA Fund, UCLA Foundation, Beverly Hills Bar Association, free legal clinics , and various other organizations of service. Man! That’s a lotta stuff! No wonder he doesn’t hunt or fish. Shooting (in controlled places) is good though as he is a member of the N.R.A.(not the N.H.R.A. , N.B.A, or N.A.A.C.P.)

          As a proud member of the W.V.R.C. I welcome Chris and we are lucky to have him. Thanks to Steve and Ron for bringing him in.  

Y.Y.E Elliott Turner for Y.O.E  Ernie Wolfe